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I'm back, sort of. Except for a small handful of journals (i.e., less than twenty), I'm still not reading. (Sorry about that, but I'm trying to reclaim my life: "My name is Pat, and I'm an LJ addict. I recognize that I am powerless over LJ and my life has become unmanageable.")
But I can't give up posting. You guys are free, as always, to stop reading.
As far as why I left, that has two components. The first is my addiction, as listed above. The other is that I was going through a rough patch with someone and I needed to resist the urge to engage in relationship processing through LJ, since I had specifically agreed not to do so in this case.
But staying away is just too hard. Partly because it is an important to my mental health to feel connected to other people even through silicon rather than face-to-face. I don't have enough interactions with adults as it is. I have been struggling with depression the past few weeks and I tend to isolate which makes things worse.
But there is something else: I write. Not letting myself write has turned out to be difficult. I don't claim to be a good writer, and I'm probably never going to write in any medium that will pay me to do so. But I do this sort of writing rather well. I have been revisiting some posts I wrote over a year ago, and I find I generally like what I write.
And besides everything else, I found myself drifting over and spending too much time in alt.poly. LJ may be a time sink, but alt.poly is a black hole.
But I can't give up posting. You guys are free, as always, to stop reading.
As far as why I left, that has two components. The first is my addiction, as listed above. The other is that I was going through a rough patch with someone and I needed to resist the urge to engage in relationship processing through LJ, since I had specifically agreed not to do so in this case.
But staying away is just too hard. Partly because it is an important to my mental health to feel connected to other people even through silicon rather than face-to-face. I don't have enough interactions with adults as it is. I have been struggling with depression the past few weeks and I tend to isolate which makes things worse.
But there is something else: I write. Not letting myself write has turned out to be difficult. I don't claim to be a good writer, and I'm probably never going to write in any medium that will pay me to do so. But I do this sort of writing rather well. I have been revisiting some posts I wrote over a year ago, and I find I generally like what I write.
And besides everything else, I found myself drifting over and spending too much time in alt.poly. LJ may be a time sink, but alt.poly is a black hole.