Hell.

I was torturing my children with watching "Broadway's Lost Treasures" a couple of nights ago, when they showed "Memories" from Cats.

I dislike Andrew Lloyd Weber's music. I think it is overrated. And for the life of me, I cannot understand how a show with a bunch of people in fur prancing around the stage with no discernible plot became the longest running musical on Broadway.

I love many show tunes. I like most of them. At the very least, I am neutral towards almost all of them. But...

I hate "Memories." No, I detest "Memories." It is overblown, trite, pathetic crap. The fact that it was covered by everyone and their dog the year Cats came out doesn't help, either. (On the "Tonight Show" that year, Carson ran a montage of all the people who had sung it on the show -- about a dozen, if I recall correctly.) On the vacation in Nevada, when we had satellite radio and I force-fed Broadway on my family for three days straight (I was driving -- driver chooses the music), that was the only song I turned off.

As I am sitting at the table cringing, my eldest said thoughtfully, "It could be worse."

"How?"

"Celine Dion could do a version."

That's just too ghastly to contemplate.