J; What's for dinner?
me: Macaroni & cheese I think.
J: Are you eating?
me: don't think so.
J: Are you going out?
me: nope.
J: Like THAT's a surprise.
me: I beg your pardon?
J: well, without Dad to push you, you never go out anywhere.
me: I don't need YOU to critique my social life, thank you very much.

I just want to smack the child. The real reason he wants me to go out, of course, is that babysitting fees for watching his brothers have enabled him to have a much better CD collection than anyone else in the house.
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