Damnit all to hell.

[pat]

I had the best of intentions. Really.

Jay has a hard time when he gets back from the Arctic. Things are too noisy, too chaotic. I really wanted to give him breathing space, so he could readjust.

Yesterday was just crazy. I tried to make a nice dinner, but the kids were loud, and I got distracted and dinner was late, and James was in full falling apart teenager mode. And then....

I was walking across the living room floor with a glass of ice wine in my hand. I don't even remember what I was going *for*. My feet got tangled up, either in the edge of the rug, or a toy or *something*. I fell, hard, twisting my knee and ankle. (I also shattered the glass, so I guess I'm lucky I didn't cut my hand to ribbons.) Jay helped me to bed.

It hurts to walk. I can't walk more than a very short way. I can't bend the knee, I can't flex the knee. Getting in and out of the car is excruciating. (It's my left leg, so if I absolutely had to, I *could* drive.) The doctor said, if I'm lucky and didn't do serious damage, it will take about six weeks to heal, with two of those weeks being "acute." (I have to get an MRI later this week.)

Jay has to take up the slack. Make dinner, take care of me, take care of the kids, go to work. Aside from the practical problems (I am going to need to ask friends to take the kids out -- they can't sit all day and watch television. No pool! No beach! No Great America! No library! Someone is going to go postal, other than me, who is a sure bet), there is just the added pressure.

And I feel horribly about it. I know I didn't mean it, I know it was accident, but damnit, I hate feeling like a burden, and that's just what I am right now.

Comments

[bdot.livejournal.com]

{{{hugs}}}

[dangerpudding.livejournal.com]

*hugs* if you'd like them.

As I said to Jay - it'll all work out, nobody's going to die, nobody's going to jail.

I can't imagine that I'm the only person willing to help with some of that slack. I can also make efforts to cut down the fuss here at work for Jay.

Accidents happen. They suck, but they happen. This will heal, relatively quickly, and hey, maybe you'll end up with some closer friendships because of it.

Would someone else handling some of the fuss for Kevin's celebration on Sunday be a help?

[ruth-lawrence.livejournal.com]

Oh no :-( Major ouch of more than one kind.

{hugs} if wanted.

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

*hug*

My offer to bring ice cream was accepted by Jay. Do you have any flavor suggestions or quantity? (I have no idea how many people we are talking about, and how many of them would eat something like bubble gum rather than saffron)

[deedeebythebay.livejournal.com]

*gentle hugs* I remember feeling this way quite a bit the last year (they thought a torn ligament in my knee last summer and then teh car accidents in teh Fall/Winter).

Breathe. Slowly. For yourself. Jay is stressed and he would have been even if he hadn't just come back home. Families confront this kind of stuff together and work through it and it will be fine.

Go back and read the answers to his post. There are tons and tons of offers for help. You will be loved and well cared for.

*gentle hugs*