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I'm not supposed to do it for them. I am also supposed to have them take ownership over it without standing over them -- just help occasionally with hard places.
That ain't working today, for either K or D. Both of them are goofing off and whining incessantly. Attempts to refocus them have proven difficult. At one point I lost it and screamed at David when -- for the second time in five minutes, after he had been expressly told NOT to -- he shoved over a chair onto the floor, in this case slamming into the plate glass window (HARD) on the way to the ground.
They are getting older. And, LDs or not, they have GOT to deal with homework themselves. But if it doesn't get done, I get calls from the schools. And school based consequences for failing to turn in homework have proven to have no effect. (For example, K said this morning: "I didn't get my homework done, so I'll be on the wall [having to sit on a bench during recess] but the guys I like to play soccer with are usually there, so I'll have company and it won't be so bad.") Home based consequences (you can't watch TV until the homework is done, e.g. -- the amount of time they watch is doled according to how well they do i their behavior logs, but when is not) work some times but not consistently. And they hard part is they seem to play off each other: if one of them is having an off day, he will provoke the other until he gets off track as well.
Sigh. I wish I felt more in control of the situation. One of the reason I've spent time on LJ this afternoon is because they go wild if I am not really close by, but I do not want to stand over them.
I will not kill my children. I won't even sell them on eBay, although today I am tempted.
That ain't working today, for either K or D. Both of them are goofing off and whining incessantly. Attempts to refocus them have proven difficult. At one point I lost it and screamed at David when -- for the second time in five minutes, after he had been expressly told NOT to -- he shoved over a chair onto the floor, in this case slamming into the plate glass window (HARD) on the way to the ground.
They are getting older. And, LDs or not, they have GOT to deal with homework themselves. But if it doesn't get done, I get calls from the schools. And school based consequences for failing to turn in homework have proven to have no effect. (For example, K said this morning: "I didn't get my homework done, so I'll be on the wall [having to sit on a bench during recess] but the guys I like to play soccer with are usually there, so I'll have company and it won't be so bad.") Home based consequences (you can't watch TV until the homework is done, e.g. -- the amount of time they watch is doled according to how well they do i their behavior logs, but when is not) work some times but not consistently. And they hard part is they seem to play off each other: if one of them is having an off day, he will provoke the other until he gets off track as well.
Sigh. I wish I felt more in control of the situation. One of the reason I've spent time on LJ this afternoon is because they go wild if I am not really close by, but I do not want to stand over them.
I will not kill my children. I won't even sell them on eBay, although today I am tempted.
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Another solution is to reward improvement in grades and remind them that turning in homework does impact the grades. Yes, this is bribery. Don't abuse it. Use it only when you need to. However, once in a while, do it. You may need to start rewarding the completion of homework on a daily basis... ie- You can have this YuGiOh card when you are done with your homework today. (Or whatever is valuable to your son.) If they give you grief, take the homework away, put the reward away and tell them they lost the chance to earn it today. Then you may be able to wean them to once a week or less. Don't make it yours, make it seem like you will give them a chance to do it and if they do, they get the reward, if they don't, they don't get it.
Another way is to make a chart with squares. Every day one of the boys does his homework, a square is colored in, for a possible total of three squares each day. When the entire chart is filled in, they get the reward. It has to be something that they all want, perhaps a new DVD or video or something like that.
Of course, all of this is just my humble opinion.:)
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belated sympathies!
Man, I really hate that experience with the kid(s) - I have a lot of empathy and sympathy for homework struggles! ((hugs))
How much can you get for a misbehaving kid on ebay these days, anyway? ;)