(no subject)

[pat]

I have heard several people on my friends list say something to the effect of "It is impossible for someone to 'hate the sin but love the sinner'."



I saw my friend C at church yesterday. I don't get to see him very often -- he is no longer living in our area.

There are decisions I have made about my personal life that C finds appalling. He has never said so directly -- the closest he has come is to say he was "very concerned" -- but I think I know him well enough to have a pretty good idea of what he thinks of the matter. If pressed, I'm pretty sure he would say, yes, he thinks that I am being sinful.

But when he sees me, he says "I really want to know how your life is going" and means it. He does not spend his time telling me that I am going to hell, or that the struggles I am experiencing in my emotional and spiritual life are a result of these decisions.

I think this is a clear case of "hate the sin, love the sinner."

The problem is that most people who actually say the above phrase, don't really mean it.

Comments

[griffen.livejournal.com]

To me (and Danny) it sounds more like "Disapprove of the sin, but love the sinner," is what you're okay with. There is a qualitative difference between disapproval and hate. If you hate what someone does, it becomes almost impossible to truly love the person.

I also have a largish beef with someone else telling me that what I'm doing is a "sin." If I'm doing wrong, that's between me and my gods, or me and the other people involved in whatever the action is. A person who is not involved in what I'm doing has no business passing any kind of judgment on what I'm doing. And I notice that the "sins" that most of these people get bent out of shape about are increases of love in places and situations where they don't think it's okay -- homosexuality, for instance, or polyamory.

Therefore, I do not take their definition of "sin" seriously; I can't. They're using "hate the sin but love the sinner" as an excuse, so that they don't have to expand their worldview. And that's why I can't take that phrase seriously, either. And why I don't believe it's possible to do what they say they're doing.

I believe your friend disapproves of what you're doing. I do not believe he hates it. There is a qualitative difference.

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

No, with all due respect Grif, I think he *hates* it. Hate is deeper and more emotive a word for me than mere disapproval. But he does not see me as being that one thing only.

There is someone I love who insists on acting in a self-destructive manner about some things. This is just a part of who they are. I cannot change them in that regard. Do I disapprove of this? No, I hate it. It rips me up in ways that mere disapproval does not. But I have also learned to tolerate the behavior in question -- I no longer argue about it with them because I know it will do no good, and it is only one aspect of their personality in any case.