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jmhm has been afflicted with a troll. She's the most insidious type of troll, too -- just intelligent enough that it becomes difficult for people like me not to respond.
At one point, in response to a commentpecunium had made, I asked him to marry me, because, well, any man who can combine passionate and rational arguments (and Wilfred Owen) like that is a man worth proposing to. This was, of course, completely in jest, not that I have to explain that to any of you, all of whom have at least a modicum (and most much more) of common sense. It should be noted that I prefaced my proposal by saying it was a non-starter because we were both already married.
The troll replied to me, saying "Since the concept of "marriage" doesn't mean much to most including the author (apparently) need I say more. Yeah, right, asking someone to marry one in an anonymous forum... how trivializing of the state of matrimony is THAT!!??? (Oh yeah... Just a joke. Hehehe.) "
For a great many reasons, most of them having to do with my personal history, that hit very close to home. I swear, if I had been in the same room with this woman, I might have become physically violent.
I managed to calm down enough to write a simple answer, along the lines of "I've been married long enough to have earned the right to joke about it...."
But you know, it amazes me that this woman doesn't know what endangers or trivializes marriages:
It's Renee and Kenny.
It's a nation that actually cares whether Brad is with Angelina or with Jen.
It's people -- Rob and Amber, Jessica and Nick, to name just a few -- who let the most intimate relationship of their lives become fodder for cheap entertainment.
It's a nation where couples, on average, spend enough on twelve hours of their lives to feed a family of four for a year.
It's every bride who has not asked her friend to be a bridesmaid because she was too fat or not pretty enough.
It's every groom who checked out and refused to have anything to do with the wedding or preparing for life together.
It's every planner who left people off the guest list that would have otherwise been invited so that the couple could have a fancier dinner.
It's every person who used wedding invitations for business purposes.
It's people who go down the aisle thinking that there are always "do-overs."*
It's every mother-in-law who insists she be more important in her son's life than her daughter-in-law.
It's every father-in-law who refuses to see his grown married daughter as anything other than "Daddy's little girl," and treats her husband accordingly.
It's every friend who said** "You know, your life would be so much simpler if you'd just leave him."
It's every coworker who says "I can't believe you let your wife get away with that!"
It's the Southern Baptist Conference, and every religious organization that insists that wives are to be submissive to their husbands.
It's every preacher who speaks of "wedded bliss", as if the two words implied each other.
It's every romance novel and fairy tale that portrays marriage as easy, or smooth, or forever romantic.
It's every movie where couples never go to counseling before splitting up.
It's every husband who sexually, physically, emotionally or verbally abuses his wife.
It's every wife who sexually, physically, emotionally or verbally abuses her husband.
It's every person in the world who think they know more and are more qualified to make decisions about what is going on in a given marriage than the two people who are in it, and who are willing to tell them about it.
A simple joke? No. Same sex marriage? No, not that either.
* I'm not saying that people should not get divorced, just that if you are thinking about how to get out of your marriage on your wedding day -- and there are people like that -- maybe you shouldn't be getting married. Linda Ellerbee once said that we had it all backwards, that we should make it hard to get married and easy to get divorced. I think she may be right.
** unless abuse is present
jmhm has been afflicted with a troll. She's the most insidious type of troll, too -- just intelligent enough that it becomes difficult for people like me not to respond.At one point, in response to a comment
pecunium had made, I asked him to marry me, because, well, any man who can combine passionate and rational arguments (and Wilfred Owen) like that is a man worth proposing to. This was, of course, completely in jest, not that I have to explain that to any of you, all of whom have at least a modicum (and most much more) of common sense. It should be noted that I prefaced my proposal by saying it was a non-starter because we were both already married.The troll replied to me, saying "Since the concept of "marriage" doesn't mean much to most including the author (apparently) need I say more. Yeah, right, asking someone to marry one in an anonymous forum... how trivializing of the state of matrimony is THAT!!??? (Oh yeah... Just a joke. Hehehe.) "
For a great many reasons, most of them having to do with my personal history, that hit very close to home. I swear, if I had been in the same room with this woman, I might have become physically violent.
I managed to calm down enough to write a simple answer, along the lines of "I've been married long enough to have earned the right to joke about it...."
But you know, it amazes me that this woman doesn't know what endangers or trivializes marriages:
It's Renee and Kenny.
It's a nation that actually cares whether Brad is with Angelina or with Jen.
It's people -- Rob and Amber, Jessica and Nick, to name just a few -- who let the most intimate relationship of their lives become fodder for cheap entertainment.
It's a nation where couples, on average, spend enough on twelve hours of their lives to feed a family of four for a year.
It's every bride who has not asked her friend to be a bridesmaid because she was too fat or not pretty enough.
It's every groom who checked out and refused to have anything to do with the wedding or preparing for life together.
It's every planner who left people off the guest list that would have otherwise been invited so that the couple could have a fancier dinner.
It's every person who used wedding invitations for business purposes.
It's people who go down the aisle thinking that there are always "do-overs."*
It's every mother-in-law who insists she be more important in her son's life than her daughter-in-law.
It's every father-in-law who refuses to see his grown married daughter as anything other than "Daddy's little girl," and treats her husband accordingly.
It's every friend who said** "You know, your life would be so much simpler if you'd just leave him."
It's every coworker who says "I can't believe you let your wife get away with that!"
It's the Southern Baptist Conference, and every religious organization that insists that wives are to be submissive to their husbands.
It's every preacher who speaks of "wedded bliss", as if the two words implied each other.
It's every romance novel and fairy tale that portrays marriage as easy, or smooth, or forever romantic.
It's every movie where couples never go to counseling before splitting up.
It's every husband who sexually, physically, emotionally or verbally abuses his wife.
It's every wife who sexually, physically, emotionally or verbally abuses her husband.
It's every person in the world who think they know more and are more qualified to make decisions about what is going on in a given marriage than the two people who are in it, and who are willing to tell them about it.
A simple joke? No. Same sex marriage? No, not that either.
* I'm not saying that people should not get divorced, just that if you are thinking about how to get out of your marriage on your wedding day -- and there are people like that -- maybe you shouldn't be getting married. Linda Ellerbee once said that we had it all backwards, that we should make it hard to get married and easy to get divorced. I think she may be right.
** unless abuse is present
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dont' forget the hit American TV show: "Want to Marry a Millionaire", where the contensants competed in beauty pageant style for the legal hand in marriage of one (barely) Millionaire, and the marriage took place at the end of the exiciting action packed hour long show. That was one of the sickest things I ever saw.
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There's a reason I don't allow anonymous commenting in my journal. I might if
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...marry me? :-)
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*hugs*
Thank you so much!
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I'd like to show this list around work, if you don't mind.
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Mind if I add this to my LJ memories list?
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Thats the kind of man I wouldn't want to marry.
Good list btw..
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