I hate to be whiny, but....

[pat]

I am beginning to listen to those voices that tell me that I really am a worthless POS. Even though objectively I know that isn't true. Is there anyone out there willing to help me out and remind me just why I am not a complete waste of oxygen?

[cross-posted to my LJ because many of my friends are not on egoboo. ]

Comments

[curiousangel.livejournal.com]

You're fun to talk to. You laughed at my stories at ap9. You know how to listen in such a way that I, at least, feel like you're getting a lot out of the conversation. You're thoughtful, and you communicate well here.

I don't know you very well yet, but I'm looking forward to getting to know you better. Be reassured, and be happy, because you also have a very nice smile. :)

You've got the tools for being happier

[7patches.livejournal.com]

I remember reading about Pat's Worthwhile Things (http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?journal=patgreene&itemid=35588#cutid1) a few days ago. That's a woman who can take care of herself.

I see you as a person with integrity and self-respect. That is an important model for your children to see every day. One way I see you taking care of yourself is spiritually. You seek out your religious community to get reminders of what is important for you.

[kayre]

Well, I'm a brand new LJ acquaintance... but I already know that you can talk about your religion with humility, compassion and intelligence. I'm looking forward to getting to know you better.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

You're one of the people I mentioned most often after apc9. "And wow, Pat Greene - she's so cool! I had a great time talking to her. Wow."

And I haven't changed my mind at all since. *grin*

[frankenboob.livejournal.com]

Hey! You're having a bad day, nothing more. You've got a lot to deal with in your life these days... I'm sure it's taking a toll. You are a strong, intelligent, compassionate woman & I'm proud to call you my friend. (You are many other things... but I'm really tired & in pain, so the list will continue tomorrow.) Don't forget that this is the season to feel stressed and blue. Tis also the season to remember that you are loved and valued by many. XOXOX

Hey... what service are you reading at? 10:45?

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

I laugh at your stories because they are funny.... and remind me to never, ever let you lock me in the trunk of your car.

I am looking forward to getting to know you better, too.

Re: You've got the tools for being happier

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you posted the link to that post; I need to add it to my memories so I can remember to look at it.

I'm still working on the self-respect part. I think I tend to ignore good things I do and concentrate on the negative.

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I was having a bad day. I think the weather is not helping either. I feel so alone sometimes -- and I spent most of the day at the mall with very little to show for it, which makes me feel alone and unproductive, to boot. It is very hard for me to say "It's a bad day" rather than "I suck."

And yes, Lessons and Carols is at 10:45.

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

You know what, Rivka? You're probably the person I talk most about meeting, as well. "And Rivka is so intelligent and funny!"

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

I'm looking forward to getting acquainted with your LJ, as well, Kayre.

[dawnd.livejournal.com]

You're very intelligent and thoughtful.

You put a huge amount of effort into parenting your kids, and not in smothering overprotective ways, as far as I can tell (having not yet seen you parent them in person, really--I was kinda distracted at the PPP).

You're very supportive of your husband, giving him time and space, and being willing to stretch your own boundaries to try to make things work out for him too (I'm thinking of a certain party I know you both were invited to this weekend).

[tsjafo.livejournal.com]

I haven't been reading your posts long, but those I have read, and the responses to others I've seen, are thoughtful, intelligent and caring. You are definitely a person I'd like to get to know better. I'm looking forward to reading your posts for a long time to come.

[frankenboob.livejournal.com]

I understand. I'm trying to come to grips about feeling alone myself.

You don't suck, Pat. Quite the opposite. Feeling physically shitty this morning. Am not going to edit the next bit... *freeflow*... so if it comes out wrong, forgive me. I am trying to think of something to say to help you. My self esteem isn't that great, but I have a solid sense of self worth. I haven't always, so I am trying to recall when the turning point was & what facilitated the change. Growing up, I idolized a number of people... it was devastating when I came to the realization that these uberindividuals were merely human. That they possessed negative traits... especially ones I had found so loathsome in myself. Maybe that's where some of my bitterness/anger comes from. People, as a collective group, are pretty unimpressive. What is impressive are individuals who rise above their flawed nature. I recognize that even these *great* people are basically the same as I am. They are capable of hate, dishonesty, slovenliness, etc. & they display these characteristics, even if rarely. What I am able to appreciate, now, is the occasions when (like I said) people *rise*. We all have the capability of being beautiful. Beautiful on the inside... which certainly affects the outward appearance. You, my dear, have a beauty that radiates from within. Those who know you, see you for who you are. I appreciate your talents, and your compassion, and yes, your beauty. It is there. You need to realize that you bring your share to the table of life. You need to realize that you are no better or worse than anyone around you... you are Pat... and all the wonderful & not-so-wonderful things that entails.

Going to stop now...

Sidenote... Jen would bitchslap me for using the words "you need to..." -- but she's not here, is she... mwahahaha

[frankenboob.livejournal.com]

Totally off topic... but which Spider Robinson book should I start with? (Having never read anything by this particular author.)

Re:

[tsjafo.livejournal.com]

I'd start with Callahan's Crosstime Saloon.

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

I don't know... would the word "bitchslap" even be in Jen's vocabulary? Besides, you're taller and have longer arms than she does, you'd have the advantage in any catfight. : >

[grendel.livejournal.com]

No one is a complete waste of O2.

Well, there are a few I can think of, but you're not on that list.

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Dawn. Parenting: the toughest job you'll ever love....

[dawnd.livejournal.com]

Indeed. And one of the quickest paths to personal growth. Oh no, here it comes! AFGO! I'm tall enough already, really! ;^)