I hate to be whiny, but....

[pat]

I am beginning to listen to those voices that tell me that I really am a worthless POS. Even though objectively I know that isn't true. Is there anyone out there willing to help me out and remind me just why I am not a complete waste of oxygen?

[cross-posted to my LJ because many of my friends are not on egoboo. ]

Comments

[frankenboob.livejournal.com]

Hey! You're having a bad day, nothing more. You've got a lot to deal with in your life these days... I'm sure it's taking a toll. You are a strong, intelligent, compassionate woman & I'm proud to call you my friend. (You are many other things... but I'm really tired & in pain, so the list will continue tomorrow.) Don't forget that this is the season to feel stressed and blue. Tis also the season to remember that you are loved and valued by many. XOXOX

Hey... what service are you reading at? 10:45?

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I was having a bad day. I think the weather is not helping either. I feel so alone sometimes -- and I spent most of the day at the mall with very little to show for it, which makes me feel alone and unproductive, to boot. It is very hard for me to say "It's a bad day" rather than "I suck."

And yes, Lessons and Carols is at 10:45.

[frankenboob.livejournal.com]

I understand. I'm trying to come to grips about feeling alone myself.

You don't suck, Pat. Quite the opposite. Feeling physically shitty this morning. Am not going to edit the next bit... *freeflow*... so if it comes out wrong, forgive me. I am trying to think of something to say to help you. My self esteem isn't that great, but I have a solid sense of self worth. I haven't always, so I am trying to recall when the turning point was & what facilitated the change. Growing up, I idolized a number of people... it was devastating when I came to the realization that these uberindividuals were merely human. That they possessed negative traits... especially ones I had found so loathsome in myself. Maybe that's where some of my bitterness/anger comes from. People, as a collective group, are pretty unimpressive. What is impressive are individuals who rise above their flawed nature. I recognize that even these *great* people are basically the same as I am. They are capable of hate, dishonesty, slovenliness, etc. & they display these characteristics, even if rarely. What I am able to appreciate, now, is the occasions when (like I said) people *rise*. We all have the capability of being beautiful. Beautiful on the inside... which certainly affects the outward appearance. You, my dear, have a beauty that radiates from within. Those who know you, see you for who you are. I appreciate your talents, and your compassion, and yes, your beauty. It is there. You need to realize that you bring your share to the table of life. You need to realize that you are no better or worse than anyone around you... you are Pat... and all the wonderful & not-so-wonderful things that entails.

Going to stop now...

Sidenote... Jen would bitchslap me for using the words "you need to..." -- but she's not here, is she... mwahahaha

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

I don't know... would the word "bitchslap" even be in Jen's vocabulary? Besides, you're taller and have longer arms than she does, you'd have the advantage in any catfight. : >