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I am beginning to listen to those voices that tell me that I really am a worthless POS. Even though objectively I know that isn't true. Is there anyone out there willing to help me out and remind me just why I am not a complete waste of oxygen?
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egoboo. ]
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egoboo. ]![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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I don't know you very well yet, but I'm looking forward to getting to know you better. Be reassured, and be happy, because you also have a very nice smile. :)
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I am looking forward to getting to know you better, too.
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You've got the tools for being happier
I see you as a person with integrity and self-respect. That is an important model for your children to see every day. One way I see you taking care of yourself is spiritually. You seek out your religious community to get reminders of what is important for you.
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Re: You've got the tools for being happier
I'm still working on the self-respect part. I think I tend to ignore good things I do and concentrate on the negative.
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And I haven't changed my mind at all since. *grin*
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Hey... what service are you reading at? 10:45?
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And yes, Lessons and Carols is at 10:45.
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You don't suck, Pat. Quite the opposite. Feeling physically shitty this morning. Am not going to edit the next bit... *freeflow*... so if it comes out wrong, forgive me. I am trying to think of something to say to help you. My self esteem isn't that great, but I have a solid sense of self worth. I haven't always, so I am trying to recall when the turning point was & what facilitated the change. Growing up, I idolized a number of people... it was devastating when I came to the realization that these uberindividuals were merely human. That they possessed negative traits... especially ones I had found so loathsome in myself. Maybe that's where some of my bitterness/anger comes from. People, as a collective group, are pretty unimpressive. What is impressive are individuals who rise above their flawed nature. I recognize that even these *great* people are basically the same as I am. They are capable of hate, dishonesty, slovenliness, etc. & they display these characteristics, even if rarely. What I am able to appreciate, now, is the occasions when (like I said) people *rise*. We all have the capability of being beautiful. Beautiful on the inside... which certainly affects the outward appearance. You, my dear, have a beauty that radiates from within. Those who know you, see you for who you are. I appreciate your talents, and your compassion, and yes, your beauty. It is there. You need to realize that you bring your share to the table of life. You need to realize that you are no better or worse than anyone around you... you are Pat... and all the wonderful & not-so-wonderful things that entails.
Going to stop now...
Sidenote... Jen would bitchslap me for using the words "you need to..." -- but she's not here, is she... mwahahaha
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You put a huge amount of effort into parenting your kids, and not in smothering overprotective ways, as far as I can tell (having not yet seen you parent them in person, really--I was kinda distracted at the PPP).
You're very supportive of your husband, giving him time and space, and being willing to stretch your own boundaries to try to make things work out for him too (I'm thinking of a certain party I know you both were invited to this weekend).
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Well, there are a few I can think of, but you're not on that list.