Can a grammar wizard help me?

[pat]

When I write or speak, I keep finding myself saying "If I were..." or "If he were..." Intellectually, I keep thinking those should be "was", since the verb is singular. (Interestingly enough, I am less likely to use "were" if there is a noun rather than a pronoun in the sentence.)

I'm trying to figure out why I do this. Is there some sort of, I don't know, speculative verb tense?

Comments

Re: Subjunctive Mood

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

I think this throws in something else that is confusing my sense of what is right.

"If he is mainstreamed"-- we don't know whether or not it will happen, or how likely it is to happen, but we are *certain* that if it does, an aide will be required.

"If I were a small furry creature from alpha centauri"-- I don't know my Douglas Adams well enough to be certain of what that would imply, or what would flow logically (given adequate knowledge of the right cultural referent), so I would be having to speak much more speculatively-- not only because I am not a small furry creature from alpha centauri, but because I don't know enough about their behavior or attributes to be able to use anything *other* than the subjunctive mood.

I'm feeling more confused, but believe it is possible that I might intuit enough proper grammar in American English to be able to speak and write in a way that is deemed acceptable by MLA, APA, Blue Book or Chicago, though perhaps not all of the above.