I'm sorry...

[pat]

I'm sorry if my sudden disappearance yesterday concerned anyone. I was watching some very nasty mudslinging going on, and it got to be too much. Part of the problem is that I have a very tough time being disciplined enough to let things alone. I find myself ruminating over them, and the LJ drama was taking over my life. Deleting my journal was a spur-of-the-moment, desperate decision to try and distance myself from a situation that was causing me pain and was injurious to my already fragile mental health. I hope that it won't be interpreted as "attention-seeking"; that was certainly not my intention.

But I found myself getting on LJ and checking brian1789's friends list (there is a lot of overlap) to see what was up with people. So I decided since I was doing that, I might as well be honest and undelete my journal.

I am still uncertain how to let go of things..... But deleting my journal, I now realize, is a classic case of throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

Comments

[geekchick]

Deleting my journal was a spur-of-the-moment, desperate decision to try and distance myself from a situation that was causing me pain and was injurious to my already fragile mental health.

BTDT, so I can certainly understand the reasoning. I'm very glad to see you back though. *hug*

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm glad you're back.

*gentle hugs*

A.

[cathouse-blues.livejournal.com]

I think just about all of us have been there, done that. One of the ways I've found to help distance myself from the drama is keep reminding myself that no matter what LJ chooses to call it, it is *not* a friends list but a reading list and that is how I choose to refer to it. I have people on the list who happen to be friends, but not all. And when it comes to communities...welll...I haven't been in a community yet that wasn't 75% blithering idjits. I liken it to getting on a public bus. The vast majority may be the ignorant unwahes with whom you're forced to share a ride, but there are one or two passengers who help make up for the smell and the guy in the back who keeps yelling about how the CIA stole his tonsils.

BTW, I'm glad you're back.

[griffen.livejournal.com]

It wasn't attention-seeking. I understand why you did it.

Remember that if the drama was going on in your own journal, you can block people from commenting. If it's in a community, you can leave the community.

Remember that you have other controls beyond deleting your own journal. That is, as you said, a case of throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

I'm glad to see you back, Pat.

[kayre]

I'm sorry LJ has been so stressful... I'm glad to see you back, and hope that you can find a more comfortable way of being here now.

[ag-unicorn.livejournal.com]

Quite pleased to see you return, patgreene.

As for letting go; one of the things I learned from being a member of many bulletin board systems/chat systems/email lists is that, sometimes, you simply have to trust in the power of the "Delete" key/button...and exercise it as often (and in as many places) as required for your own personal sanity...without, as you say, "throwing the baby out with the bathwater."

Withdraw from the conversation when and as needed; your withdrawal does not make your opponents right, and does afford you distance and space in which to gain perspective.

[calebbullen.livejournal.com]

Not to oversimplify things but you don't have to be disciplined to leave things alone.

You wouldn't keep eating something from a restaurant that was repulsive, you wouldn't watch a television show you hated you wouldn't keep talking to a person in real life if they were that upsetting, so why do it on a computer?

Sure, the instinct might be "once more into the breach dear friends!" but if you aren't going to get anything out of it other than annoyance, why bother?

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I figured you would understand *hugs*

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

Thanks. *hugs*

[rivka.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you're back. I enjoy reading your posts and comments.

[tsjafo.livejournal.com]

I am glad you are back! *hugs*

*hugs*

[sisterfish125.livejournal.com]

I wondered what had happened, because I like to read your posts. You've always got such thought and emotion in them!

Don't let them get to you. You've got a heck of a support network at your disposal here, so try to remember that.

[rmjwell.livejournal.com]

Welcome back!

I agree with what rivka said. You are also one of my favorite people to chat with about movies.

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

Speaking of movies... have you seen Seabiscuit?

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

I was thinking about you and your dissertation this morning.... I hope the editing is going well.

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

I'm really glad you're back. :) What I saw on my own friends list, while you were gone, were questions like, "Where's patgreene gone? I like her!" and "Anyone know what happened to patgreene? I'm worried."

I'm trying really hard to just ignore or walk away from some conversations. My attention won't make them better, won't make anyone respond differently, and sometimes only serves to increase my own stress.

[rmjwell.livejournal.com]

No, although it looks good, I think I'll wait for it on DVD. I'm in moreof a comedy/blow-em-up mood as far as movies go right now. I saw American Wedding and prior to that Pirates of the Carribean. I'm waiting for Once Upon A Time In Mexico to open.

Random observation

[rmjwell.livejournal.com]

I like your time stamps; it's always nie talking to someone from the future. :-)

[rivka.livejournal.com]

It wasn't when you wrote this comment, but late this evening I seem to have gotten semi-unstuck. Obviously, your good wishes are helping. :-)

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you're back. Now maybe we can celebrate the new bishop!

[purplecthulhu.livejournal.com]

Glad you're back!

[raddy.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I want to delete everything. Computers, government, the boxes in my attic... I always end up just ignoring stuff instead.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Just so you know, my reaction was "Oh, shoot", but not any kind of condemnation or anything. I hope people always feel perfectly free to be here or not, as it suits them. That said, I'm glad you're here.